The day I lost my Mom till now I could never muster the courage to put my grief into words :'( It is so painful to go down the memory lane & recollect the dreadful memories. The pain is still there & sometimes unbearable. Life is changed, definitely..no more the same. No dreams, no aspirations, no excitements & no will to do anything :'( I know & knew for a long time..the facts of life. However..we always wish otherwise :'(
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I was never away from my mom. My Son, Ziqry was brought up at my parents place. The only home I ever had was my parents's place. I used to talk to her on phone almost everyday. Anything & everything we could discuss. We did have our agreements and disagreements & now I always regret being rude to her sometimes :'( Maafkan aku ma..sesungguhnya aku amat menyayangi mu.. :'( I hope wherever she is, she forgives me. Now there is nobody who can show such affection for me, Ma…I miss you so much :'( You are gone & I don’t know what to do with my life.. it is so empty.. utterly incomplete. I had no idea that whatever I was doing in my life, I was doing it for you :'(
On September 22, 2014 at 9pm my mom passed away. I just can’t explain how I felt at that point of time, everything was gone, my whole world fell apart. I just couldn’t believe that the most loved person of mine was no more. It was so painful to realize that I wouldn’t be able to see or talk to the person I loved the most :'( I kept sitting near my mom’s body the whole night.. wishing she would get up any time or a miracle might happen :'( There is not a single day when I don’t miss her and till now I haven’t stopped crying. The pain is too much.. don’t know what to do now. I know time is the big healer. However, I have realized that mother is the only person in this world who keeps giving everything to her children selflessly. Now I tell everybody to take good care of her or his beloved mother as life doesn’t remain the same when she is no more there..I always had a strong trust in Allah & I used to say that whatever happens in life.. happened for the best.
Allah has been very graceful to me & if He ever gave me tough times.. He gave me enough of strength to face those adverse circumstances. But this time i wasn't prepared & He knew about it. Now i pray to Him to give me courage to deal with this terrible lose. Life definitely changes after your parents are gone.. Al-fatihah for you Ma.. :'(
Miss you,
Kakak.
